Mama's Wild Night

From mama to me.

Mr. Pibb, remember that Friday in August I stayed home to be in a relationship? And then the guy came to Dream Hotel and everyone was like, you look so cute but I ruined it by being myself. So last night Mama texted him: "Be ready in a jock and socks." He texts back, "door is unlocked, just come in." Fine. I go in, first of all - he's wearing a rosary, wtf? But like, I was so drunk that I forgot I was there for sex, so I greeted him with my bar persona, aka: dramatic flamboyant "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" / "HOW ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU". I then started to talk about Precious.

So I receive oral for a good 20 mins, POPPERED out. I kept making him do poppers that he almost fainted. She wolf starts to play from his computer. And im sittin there literally, lol, doing a dance as he's like, working overtime on me giving me head. Like full on, black girl shimmy while pursing my lips. As he's still going down on me I think about how bad i want eggplant and proscuitto from the deli. i look at my watch, it's 11:51 and this deli closes in 9 minutes (same deli i hid by the cats from doubleD's ex while i was on G). I jump up, and I start doing the Sally Field Mrs Doubtfire "I have to go" routine. But like, he doesn't know that joke and i was doing it 100% sincerely. "I HAVE TO GO / WE HAVE TO GO". and hes just like, what? As i'm running towards the door he goes "you left your underwear" and i scream out, "keep them. i only bought them for Yelpee McGee and they annoy me. it's laundry day!!!!" (as if he knows who Yelpee is) and yes, i did the Yelpee McGee yelp while outside his house.

I sprinted to the deli. eat my sandwhich and a BOX of cheese-its on the corner by myself. yes. the entire box. as i'm hutched on the corner, i put on "if i were a boy" on my ipod and listened ot it on repeat for 20 minutes and started to cry (yes, by myself on a corner on poppers) bc i don't hook up with guys that look like the corbin fisher porn stars. But like, really crying by myself.

I come home to Ratatouille. She wants a recap and I tell her I just had the worst night of my life. I then tell her we are moving to San Francisco and STARTED TO PACK. YES, I STARTED TO PACK. After that I dont know what happened. I do know, there was so much clothes packed on my bed, that I elected to sleep on my hard wood floor. I woke up in my clothes, jeans around my ankle, and still freeze frame of xtube on my Mac.

Thursday night.